I must admit, I am mentally exhausted. Last night, sleep was elusive, and as I lay awake, the weight of my responsibilities bore down on me. It’s something many of us face, not just as leaders, but as mothers, single parents, sole providers—the ones who carry the load of a business, a leadership role, and maintaining a household. It can be overwhelming, and at times, I feel lost under the sheer magnitude of what’s on my plate.
As I tossed and turned, silently crying in the dark, I glanced over at my two babies. They are my why. They are the reason I have to get up every day, the reason I must keep pushing, no matter how hard it gets. In those moments of doubt, when everything feels like too much, they remind me of my purpose.
I say this because I know how hard it is—the role of a nurse leader, the role of a single mother or single parent doing it all alone, the role of an entrepreneur figuring it out every day and struggling to keep the lights on. These are not easy paths, and the burden can sometimes feel unbearable. But in those moments of despair, when you feel like giving up, it’s crucial to remember your why.
What is your why? What is the reason behind everything you do? Is your why strong enough to keep you going when everything feels like it’s falling apart?
Last night, after drying my tears and looking at my children, I made a choice. I got up, determined to conquer the day. Because for them, and for myself, I cannot afford to give up. I cannot afford to live with the regret of not showing up for my why.
My why; because my residents deserves better! But for me I don’t think my why is important enough to keep continuing when my team isn’t supportive. When the people that are there is so toxic. I would love to stay but in reality unless someone intervenes and help me get the toxicity under control (I think it could) there’s no way for us to have positive outcomes. I feel like I’m just chasing my tail.