Let’s be real for a minute—the role of a Director of Nursing is no walk in the park.
If you’re here expecting a soft ride, I hate to break it to you, but you’re in for a rude awakening.
You need to build tough skin, and I’m talking rhino tough.
The things you’ll go through?
Whew. They’ll test you, break you down, and then expect you to keep smiling like nothing happened.
When I first started out as a Director of Nursing, I took everything personally.
Anytime someone mentioned a peep about how nursing didn’t do this or nursing didn’t handle that, I would snap.
Why? Because I thought it was a reflection of me.
Like, I’m the DON—how could something slip through the cracks?
I felt like every mistake my staff made was my failure too.
It was like motherhood—when your child messes up, you take it personally because you raised them better, right?
But let me tell you something I’ve learned through all of this: you can’t control everything.
Stop Taking It Personally
One of the biggest shifts in my mindset came after I started diving deep into leadership.
I realized I didn’t need to take things so personally.
I mean, yeah, as a leader you’re responsible for the team, but every single decision and mistake doesn’t fall on your shoulders alone.
People are going to make mistakes—that’s part of the process.
The sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll stop feeling like a failure every time something goes wrong.
Just because someone on your team didn’t handle something the way you would have doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It just means there’s room for growth and learning, for both of you.
So, stop beating yourself up every time something slips through the cracks.
You’re not perfect, and neither is anyone else.
Stop Trying to Please Everyone
Oh, and here’s another hard truth—stop trying to please everyone.
I used to think I had to be nice to get people to do what I needed them to do.
I thought if I was friendly, they’d listen, follow through, and we’d all live in happy harmony.
Boy, was I wrong.
Leadership isn’t about being liked; it’s about being respected.
It’s about making the right decisions, not the popular ones.
You’re not there to be everyone’s friend—you’re there to guide, mentor, and grow your team, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Growth comes from discomfort.
And let me tell you, holding people accountable is uncomfortable, but it’s absolutely necessary.
The Leader’s Role
Your role as a leader isn’t to be accepted; it’s to lead.
You’re there to make the tough calls, hold your team accountable, and make sure they grow from their mistakes.
Stop worrying about whether or not everyone likes you.
Instead, focus on whether or not they’re developing into better nurses, better team members, and better people under your leadership.
You don’t need to be everyone’s best friend to be an effective leader.
You need to be the person who makes decisions with integrity, stands firm when necessary, and guides your team towards success, no matter how tough the path might be.
Don’t Stress the Small Stuff
So, the next time you find yourself stressing over how to approach someone or getting worked up because someone said something negative about your staff, take it with a grain of salt.
You can’t control everything, and you shouldn’t take every criticism personally.
Learn from it, adjust where necessary, and move on.
At the end of the day, leadership isn’t about being soft or being liked.
It’s about making the right decisions, growing your team, and ensuring that everyone is held accountable, including yourself.
Remember, you’re not here to be soft—you’re here to lead.
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